It Hurts to be Numb

Leave me now, if have to leave me at all


I shall not get used to, your hands that catch my fall!

I’m so tired of the feeling of agony and loss

Be it of innocence, of sanity, of life

Be it of dreams that ceased on their journey

To the realization of concreteness

Be it of hope that faded away in the dark tunnel

Of isolation…

Sometimes, my very existence is my worst humiliation

Don’t get too close, don’t offer yourself to me

Quite disappointment, you might get to see

The anathema of my voodoo morbidity might rub off on you

If I’m a victim of an unnamed feeling, why should you suffer too?

I drive away the people that I want around me

If you just give up and vanish, that won’t astound me

I’m just so scared of loss, there’s probably nothing I wish to gain

There’s anguish in numbness, but feeling gives much more pain!



Written: 10/30/2009

Behold the century of machines with despise


Watch the devilish charms arise

Trying so hard, failing so often

Life is scratching at its coffin

What is joy? Again I forgot

What is hope? It’s left to rot

Sit in the shade of this shadow

Your thinking is deep, but your words are shallow

Our dream is merely a nightmare

Foes are many; friends, so rare

The one who’s gone, was barely here

But why should the ones left behind, care?

So much anger! So much hatred! This is the same fuel that ignited the spark inside me so many years ago, and left me only with ashes, but that is not it. There is an increasing trend in these emotions in the world, from a broader perspective, and in my nation, more specifically.Everyone wants to see postivity around, but nobody seems to be optimistic within themselves. The change HAS to be inside-out, for hating away all the anger won't help the cause, infact only worsen it. It does'nt really sadden me anymore; it only makes me more anxious about how there will be a change of events brought about with this status quo. Those who can, are doing their best to make SOME difference, whatevr it is. But with so much negative energy around, I wonder how long those few can keep moving on with their mission. We all, as a nation, and as members of the world community, have to unite and make personal contributions in whatever capacity each individual can.
What gives rise to the anger is actually an urge to see betterment, but not finding it anywhere in sight. But it is also very important to channelise our anger in a healthy direction, or else there is only room for heightened despair, paranoia, disappointment and unnecessay stress.
I beg of all of those who read this: Think about it! It's not a very huge leap to begin with. If you wish to see the difference, then you only have your attitudes to change to initiate the collective process. Man cannot be god, but every man is responsible for his own life and of those getting affected by his.
If it hurts your conscience so much, do something about it!